Dream # 5 (circa 2009)

   I am stuck inside a burning down house and inside are a few of my friends. I found Ryan, he had inhaled a lot of smoke and now lays on the ground, just able enough to speak but not able enough to get up and move around for himself. As I approached him I noticed that just above his forehead, a large patch of hair had been shaved and looked quite bare and awkward. When I noticed this he said to me that Keely and Micaela had "taken it from him", I replied "So it looks like we'll just have to shave your whole head now!". "I know how to do it" I said, but Ryan still didn't want me to. I called to Linley who had actually only just appeared and I asked her if she would shave Ryan's head. She seemed sort of reluctant or dispirited about the whole ordeal, how I knew her to be at times. For one reason or another we just left and I carried her off into the next room which had already been abandoned, smoke and falling embers filled the room.

As I entered the room of smoke she was no longer in my arms and I was alone. I sat down at the computer where in the search bar it read:

NO--PORN--OR--VIOLENCE--HAS--EVER--BEEN--SEARCHED--FOR--HERE

I laughed at that statement whether or not it was actually true. A certainty of death had filled the air with ideas of "why not". I proceeded to look up pictures of naked people, some of them I even knew personally, and violent pictures and such. Linley enters the room at this point, swiftly and suddenly and sits on the chair with me and asks "what are you looking at?". Somehow the screen changes to results of a search less explicit, but in the search bar it still reads "PORN", I try to cover it with my hand.

Now I am outside and I am saving people from the towering blaze, the house/ building is several stories high and I must go nearer to the top than before in the elevator against wishes. As I arrive on the seventh or twenty-second floor the doors slide open and I am greeted with the thickest of smoke. Instantly I close my eyes, coughing, I feel the pain of being there so thick and harsh. Heat, billowing smoke in my lungs, I never leave that floor again. My friends waiting outside, I die inside, in here, in my dream.

Dream # 2

Living with an alcoholic and potentially a rapist father, is tough to say the least and I can feel so vulnerable being his daughter. He is possessive of everything, his belongings and especially of me, not to mention obsessive over every minor detail. He loses his personal items and expects me to know where they are when I haven't the slightest clue. I am accused of taking them and threatened with physical abuse when I have no answer for him. When I decide to leave the house he makes out that his world is crumbling and if I don't come back soon enough or if I do anything mischievous (which is anything by his standards) I will be severely punished. I am always learning to deal with this harsh reality and try to counter balance his erratic behavior.

One night I decided to leave the family home, which isn't much of a family, just the father and I. As usual he demands for me to locate some of his misplaced belongings, to which I can not. He becomes enraged and I narrowly escape this time, and take with me a large screwdriver as a defensive weapon. When I am outside I notice across the street an obscene amount of dog excrement, and as I squint my eyes, What I can see on the curb is utterly vile, the skin of a dog. The face almost looks like a empty mask where only the eyes and the shape of a dogs face is missing. Who would do such a thing? To kill and disembowel a dog and leave the skin and its excrement on the side of the road? I look closer and I realize the remains of this poor canine are just outside a pet store. I feel oddly compelled to rush inside, so I do.

What I find inside is sickening, there is a small group of teenage boys and they are all waging genocide on the animals of the store. The lone worker there, too emotionally distraught to do a thing about it. I begin to call emergency services, and to my surprise after a long while waiting on hold, I am put through to the city pound. It becomes apparent that there had been so many calls they believed to be misdirected to emergency services that they just started redirecting most calls to the pound.

I demanded that someone come and see what wasgoing on down at the pet store.

I made the grim venture to the toilet, where I found one of the teenage boys raping a small dog, I ran out and a boy ran after me. I turn and make a swing at him with the screwdriver, but I miss, and he continues running past me. It seemed like he wasn't running after me at all. It all seemed so unclear to me, there is chaos in the home, and even more chaos when I try to escape what seemed like real danger.